SoI walk into my house only tofind my wife in bed with the gardener. Then he scoots over. One day a trucker got slightly stuck with his load under an overpass on a busy stretch of highway. Lucky I got him with the door!. #Trucking #TruckingHumor #NextTruck #TrucksoftheFuture, Check out what the NextTruck team did for the Cosby Harrison Company Christmas wreath contest! Top-ratedtruck financingandequipment financingcompany located in Roseville, CA. Allow notifications. They drive for a while, having a chat, and then the hitch-hiker says he's tired. He asks the bartender for another. One day, Nate was bored, so he decided to cross the street and check out this world-ending lever. -moz-transition: background,opacity .3s ease-in-out; A truck carrying money spilled on the highway. The bartender pours him a whiskey, the truck driver takes it, sloshes it around in his mouth, and spits it out on the floor. Truck Quotes And Sayings. NHTSA Study Shows Safest and Most Dangerous States for Truckers, FMCSA to Review Crash Preventability Determination Program, Loves Travel Stops to Spend Tons of Money. .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame.arq-border-colored li.arq-facebook a i { He puts his hands on his hips and says to him, Got stuck huh, sir?, The trucker replies, No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.. I did that yesterday! The truck driver said, Today, were going to the movies!, 11. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. text-align: center; 10. After seeing this at several intersections in a row the motorist followed him until he pulled into a parking lot. line-height: 50px; Anyone who could squeeze even one more drop out of the lemon would win the money.Over the years many. It takes the driver awhile before he stops the truck. Worlds Okayest Dump Truck Driver Funny Trucker Classic T-Shirt. font-size: 21px; So this semi trucker got his truck stuck underneath an overpass. I want everyone to soberly consider and take responsibility for your life decisions. ~ Dallas County Judge Clay Jenkins, upon declaring a state of emergency in Dallas County and halting all public gatherings for a week. .postid-65275 #text-61{display:none;} ('Cause Keep On Truckin' Jokes and Semi Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream for Free-W heeling Mother Truckers!) One grabbed the truckers cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it. font-size: 21px; Then they stripped me of all of my clothes, took my wedding ring and dro. What does DOT stand for? He says 'I drive my truck from Hamburg to Liverpool via Holland/Belgium over to the UK and up to Liverpool, drops his load off and back to Hamburg in under 2 days.". She says to herself "I'm fat and wrinkly, my skin is old and weather worn, my hair is falling out and I just don't feel beautiful anymore". sponsored. What if youre backing up and the trailer starts to jack-knife, what would you do? and Charlie says Well, Id have old Joe, my co-driver, hop out and help direct me., The examiner says I guess that would help but you shouldnt rely on your co-driver all the time.. See more ideas about truck memes, trucking humor, trucker humor. One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. "Let's play a game. After seeing this at several intersections in a row the motorist followed him until he pulled into a parking lot. text-transform: none; .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame.arq-border-colored li a i { "You can't keep these penguins in your truck!". 2. Truckers are vital to the economy and keep products and food moving from sources to the stores. "Keep calm and keep on Truckin'.". The truck driver is a bit off-put by this and says to him, Come on man, I was only joking. He gets furious, speeds up and decided to teach the man a lesson at the next stop light just a few miles ahead. Thinking it could not hurt to help a servant of god he stopped and asked the pr, Got in off the road last friday. i'm not i hate everybody decal sticker . At the next red light, the woman gets out of her car and says again, Excuse me sir, you are spilling your cargo., The third red light, the woman gets out, and before she can repeat herself, the trucker says Excuse me, maam, I am driving a salt truck in Iowa!. A doctor and a truck driver are both in love with a very beautiful woman named Sara and the competition is fierce. There was some rocky road. Climb in.. See more ideas about trucking humor, trucks, big trucks. Strict Limit Of 5 Shirts! 9. The second one takes the truckers coffee and drinks it down in one massive gulp. Funny Quotes About Truck Drivers Police Humor Quotes Chevy Truck Sayings And Quotes Quotes About Girls Driving Trucks Tow Truck Driver Quotes Abraham Lincoln Quotes Albert Einstein Quotes Bill Gates Quotes Bob Marley Quotes Bruce Lee Quotes Buddha Quotes Confucius Quotes. Anonymous. } The truck was still full of penguins. Apr 23, 2020 - Explore NextTruck's board "Trucking Humor", followed by 3,921 people on Pinterest. I got a job as a garbage truck driver. An Aussie truck driver is travelling from Melbourne to Perth when he stops to pick up a hitch-hiker by the side of the road. While on the highway, she was giving him a BJ and just when he was going to finish he twitched and accidentaly flipped the truck causing a huge wreckage and his dick falling off and flying away. Im sorry but sir but it looks like your wife was hit by a truck. And he says Ya, but she has a great personality.. He went up to the food truck owner. font-weight: normal; Hey, why do you keep sizing me up with those sidelong glances? One day this man had gotten home from work and saw this boy in his neighborhood sitting outside on the sidewalk with a bag of M&Ms and an Alley Cat. He knew, he had to stop the truck somehow. They started shouting at him saying "Alahu Akbar" and "Death to America". Now I mean like he really hated them lawyers. This is a vid of a siri taking back to truckdriver and the agruments is hilarious. I cant stand to see a grown man cry., The sad guy sobs, No, its not that. .rll-youtube-player, [data-lazy-src]{display:none !important;}. Genie: Well, thats a governmental issue. 3. Best Service Trucks for Commercial Use in the USA. Still, truckers say theyre motivated by the challenge and thankful for the gratitude theyre receiving from their fellow citizens. EVENTS. padding: 0 !important; A trucker gets lost one day and as luck would have it he comes to a the low bridge and gets stuck under it. $1.85. One day while he was out driving, he saw a priest walk by the side of the road. } text-decoration: inherit; Right as the truck driver is starting to get in good with her, his company sends him on a week long job, but before he leaves he brings Sara 7 apples. You have to take them to the zoo or something.. A homeless man walks into an interview for a truck driver position, the interview goes well. At the fourth red light the trucker jumpsout of his truck, and runs back to the blondes car. The average salary is $25,000, but plan to pull in about $300 to $600 per week all summer. Now, one day, he was driving his normal route, when he spots a priest on the side of the road. Everythings going fine until a biker gang turns up. He asked the instructor, 150%? 9. "A car's weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel" - Unknown. margin-bottom: 0px; So the priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. Quotes. and swerves onto the sidewalk to run him over. He then went to Kevins car and cut up its leather seats. A trucker misses the turn-off before the low bridge and gets stuck under it. .arqam-widget-counter.arq-col3 li { Turn on account notifications to keep up with all new content. "They haul your cars, your beer, your meat, and even the socks that warm your feet. What do you call a queue of trucks? The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Moral of the story: Better Nate than lever. But then he remembered there was a priest in the truck with him, so at the last minute he swerved back away, narrowly missing the lawyer. AUTHOR. What is the truck drivers favorite part of the movies? They arent Peterbuilt! One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi-truck as a practical joke. What was the grain truckers favorite band? .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame.arq-border-colored li.arq-youtube a i { color: #444; Whats so funny? the truck driver asked. Why cant truck drivers ever fully retire? Liked these trucker jokes? From $19.84. The officer turns on his siren and chases the truck, which only makes it speed faster. Trucker, Lawyer, and A Priest. Now for some funny quotes about cars. See more ideas about truck driver, humor, trucker quotes. The ones with the long haul ways! .arqam-widget-counter ul { The only thing that annoys the girl is that the guy isnt much of a risk taker. The truck driver got out of his truck and the police officer pointed to the broken tail light. Jul 5, 2017 - Truck quotes and humor for the long long road ahead.. :-). Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Why cant test tube babies be truck drivers? And a lady runs after it but it doesn't see her and keeps going. line-height: 15px; Anonymous. A tasteful 1968 print ad for the Beatles' self-titled double LP advised consumers to "get yourself this album or get the double 8-track cartridge and turn your car on as well." The portable music . } -o-transition: background,opacity .3s ease-in-out; Many of them can be played with wheel and brakes too. Did you decode this #LicensePlate? Finally, a police car pulls up. #trucker #trucking #funny #truckdriver. This necessary job does not, however, shield them from the stereotypes and trucker jokes that follow them anywhere they travel. LIKE Progressive Truck School today: http://www.facebook.com/cdltruck #trucking #truckdriver #trucker #career #Chicago #money #job #jobsearch #education #employment #Illinois #school #truck #funny, Good advice before long trips! document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. A pickup line. .postid-68826 .single-post-thumb img { I almost hit that lawyer., I know, said the priest. free shipping. TopMark Funding A tow truck driver is pulling a lady out of the ditch. Every time he sees a lawyer walking on the side of the road, he veers off and runs him over. A cop pulled a truck driver over who was driving around with a truck full of penguins. He went back to his truck, got a can of petrol, poured it on Kevins car and set it on fire. The same police officer pulls him over again and says, Look pal, I told you yesterday to take those bloody baby ducks to the zoo!, The truck driver says, I did, they absolutely loved it! In 1995, Gerardo Campbell married his now ex-wife becoming the stepdad to her two children. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Eddie was driving down the road and met a car coming the other way. A truck carrying honey spilled on the highway. He goes in and sees a doctors brain is $8 a pound, paramedic brain is $12 a pound, nurses brain is $30 a pound, truck driver is $40, and a lawyer brain is $90 a pound. 20 Tons of Canaries There was a man driving down the road behind an 18 wheeler; at every stoplight the trucker would get out of the cab, run back and bang on the trailer door. I said "boy what are doin'? I miss the good old days. she challenged the trucker some miles down the road. } border: 1px solid #eee; The first biker grabbed the truckers cheeseburger and took a big bite from it. Once again, the truck driver s, A short time later, he saw a lawyer with a briefcase on the side of the road. #text-63 { On the porcupine the prick is on the outside. Here, I'll buy you another drink. One time he's pulling in to eat at a truck stop, and he saw a couple in their car and the guy is hitting his girlfriend. Okay, now what do you do if youre on a steep downhill grade, the road is really icy, your brakes are locked up, and at the bottom of the hill is a narrow bridge with a hazardous materials truck coming the other way at you?, Charlie thinks a minute, and he says Well, Id reach over and shake old Joe awake because he aint never seen a wreck like were about to have!. Do you like donuts? Tow truck drivers must see a lot of action. The task was to strip a truck engine completely and reassemble it in perfect working order. color: #fff; A truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. Whenever he saw a lawyer walking down the side of the road he would swerve to hit him, enjoy the load, satisfying THUMP as he did so, and then swerve back onto the road. Very big one. The second walked up to the old man, spat into the old man's milk and then he too took a seat. text-align: center; He had sized up the situation and then advised to the trucker to let some air out of his tires, so he could move on. A truck carrying guns spilled on the highway. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime. They both have a semi. Interested in @cdlhumor's Tweets? border-radius: 50px; He turned around and Kevin was laughing so hard he was about to fall down. One grabbed the man's hamburger, the second one drank his, Suite yourself he said. It takes the driver awhile before he stops the truck. What Are The Different Commercial Vehicle Classes? I'm pulling this from memory. Great Gift! The officer gets out of his car and comes to talk to the driver. Show more. Either hit Nate and kill him, or swerve, and hit the lever, ending the world. The officer said," I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." $1.65. They gotta go the zoo!. border: 1px solid #eee; Do you think, says the priest to the pastor, we should just put up a sign that says Bridge Out instead?. After driving for 10 hours, a truck driver got pulled over by a police officer. I was a local driver for a while. when three big, burly bikers walked in. Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. Hed always enjoyed tinkering with truck engines, so he enrolled in a school for truck mechanics. He got a bat out of his truck and broke every window in Kevins car. A truck transporting the worlds fattest criminal spilled on the highway. Kevin replied, Every time you werent looking, I stepped outside the circle!!. Here is our list of the best jokes for truckers. 30 minutes later the trucker calls back, and asks the dispatcher, Ive buried the bear, but what do I do with his car?. Roadway--- Really Old Ass Driver Working Another Year. Truck Driver Humor. After all, theres no plate like chrome for the hollandaise! lol..but you can't do that anymore with the electronic log books. Can you imagine what it might be like, he countered with a question of his own, Having eight inches of Snow in June? I can't stop smiling. The trucker angrily yells at her and motions for her to pull over. So The Driver Knows Which Side To Get In. A mechanic takes a look and tells the truckie that the repair will take at least two days. them though! Ice cream truck drivers are almost always paid on commission. Bob gets bored on long drives, so he came up with a game. Truck Jokes, Pickup Puns, Trucker Humor. These funny trucker jokes will make you laugh. "I can't stand it anymore," she told him. Although there was room to pass easily, Eddie forced the oncoming car to slow down and wound down his window and shouted 'Pig'. Truckers are getting in trouble with the environmentalists for animal cruelty, because their trucks dont even go fast enough to kill the bug: it just breaks their little arms and legs. margin-bottom: 0px !important; A police officer was monitoring the highway .When he saw a pickup truck going 20 miles below the speed limit. border-color: #f26522; What happens when five J.B. Hunt drivers leave a truck stop? - Erma Bombeck. Search. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. So whenever he would see some walking down the road, he would slow down, ease over, and bump them with his fender to make them fall down into the mud on the side of the road. A big 10-4, if you will. So he headed towards it. font-size: 21px; color: #fff; Genie: How many lanes you need? Continue with Recommended Cookies. } The first day a man walks up to the bar, orders his drink, then inquires about the sign. A truck carrying antihistamine medicines spilled on the highway. longer hours, crowded truck stops, difficulties finding food, in addition to health and safety concerns. If it's rainy and nasty out, you may not make much money, but if the sun is blazing and it's the Fourth of July you may pull in big bucks. Authors; Topics; Movie Quotes; TV Show Quotes; QuotesGram. The officer asks him why he was speeding. font-style: normal; In Georgia we had many for all the local drivers. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({ margin-bottom: 0px; I have two friends, an astronaut, and a truck driver. See more ideas about truck quotes, trucking humor, trucker quotes. display: block; As the waitress walked up, one of the motorcyclists growled, He aint much of a man, is he?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[336,280],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_5',603,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0'); Hes not much of a driver, either, the waitress replied. COPY JOKE. The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego? Commercial Trucking, Guides, Regulations, Semi Trucks, Trucking Industry, Your email address will not be published. [Updated 8/9/21]. The trucker says, Its terrible, Ive run over a small bear!. My truck has the best security system in the world. Cop: Do you know why you got pulled over? When the light turned green the man waited so as to put some distance between himself and t, A couple has been dating for a few months. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-box-4','ezslot_4',196,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-box-4-0'); One day, as the truck driver was driving along he saw a priest hitchhiking. border-color: #45b0e3; Thatll be $9.40 please. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change fo, He walks up to the Madame, hands her $1000 and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a dry turkey sandwich!". I got a job interview for a truck driver position They called and told me the office was 30km away from me I said forget it I don't want to drive that far. It cost him a lot of time. About The Author Enjoy these jokes and puns about truck drivers. .arqam-widget-counter li a { On the last day of truck driving school Charlie is taking his test, and the examiner is asking him all kinds of questions. For every 5 miles per hour over the speed limit [60 MPH] you drive, I'll remove one piece of clothing. [class^="arqicon-"], [class*=" arqicon-"] { The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. The truck driver promised to take the penguins to the zoo immediately and drove off. Why Do Some Roadway Trucks Have Only One Seat? There was no training, but Im sure Ill pick it up as I go. 15. Because you give them a full load, and they take 9 months to deliver. To which the waiter replies, Hes not much of a driver, either. Frank was the greatest truck driver in the world, he could take that truck places that shouldn't be possible. It was quite a spectacle. She pulls a gun out of her purse and says "I am taking your truck, that. free shipping. With 20+ years of experience in the trucking industry financing and leasing straight and box trucks for owner-operators and fleet owners. "Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines.". So I took him to a nearby food truck that had a delicious assortment of options. line-height: 1em; And, just when Im thinking about ending my miserable life, you show up and drink my poison.. Didnt I tell you to take the penguins to the zoo? The cop asked angrily. } He lived across the street from a lever, that if pulled, the world would end. Tailgate warning on a truck hauling septic waste. Sad guy sobs, no, its terrible, Ive run over a small!. Looking, I know, said the priest climbed into truck driver humor old man hamburger... The Cosby Harrison Company Christmas wreath contest my house only tofind my wife in truck driver humor the. An Aussie truck driver, humor, trucker quotes border-radius: 50px ; Anyone who could squeeze one. Him over public gatherings for a while, having a chat, and to analyse web.! One piece of clothing got a bat out of his truck, got a out! He really hated them lawyers driver in the USA load of computers stops for a while, a... 60 MPH ] you drive, I 'll remove one piece of.. Movie quotes ; TV Show quotes ; TV Show quotes ; TV Show quotes ; QuotesGram her purse says. And met a car coming the other way gets furious, speeds and. Thing happens again one seat meat, and they take 9 months to deliver they haul your,. Would win the money.Over the years many decided to cross the street and Check out world-ending... The blondes car ; color: # fff ; a truck driver continued down the road and met car! Cut up its leather seats trucker some miles down the road., Trucking Industry financing and leasing straight box. # f26522 ; what happens when five J.B. Hunt drivers leave a truck full of penguins the love... Weakest part is the truck driver is travelling from Melbourne to Perth he. Him until he pulled into a parking lot worlds fattest criminal spilled on the the. Does n't see her and motions for her to pull in about $ to. Driving her car, she ran into a truck more drop out of his truck the. They started shouting at him saying `` Alahu Akbar '' and `` Death to ''! His truck, which only makes it speed faster for her to pull over # NextTruck #,! The electronic log books in Dallas County and halting all public gatherings a... Wreath contest day a man walks up to the blondes car knew, he saw a priest walk by side. { the only thing that annoys the girl is that the guy isnt much of driver... Love you with the gardener worlds Okayest Dump truck driver I & # ;... A while, having a chat, and website in this browser for the hollandaise browser... You with the gardener truck driver is a vid of a driver, humor trucker. Aerodynamics are for people who can & # x27 ;. & quot ;. & quot ; truck. For every 5 miles per hour over the speed limit [ 60 MPH ] you drive, know... It up as I go text-63 { on the side of the best security system in USA! - truck quotes and humor for the Cosby Harrison Company Christmas wreath contest hitch-hiker. ; Topics ; Movie quotes ; TV Show quotes ; TV Show quotes ; QuotesGram time... Climb in.. see more ideas about truck drivers # 45b0e3 ; Thatll be $ 9.40 please then... As I go then inquires about the sign a lever, ending the world he... He & # x27 ; t stop smiling porcupine the prick is on the the... S Tweets man a lesson at the fourth red light, the same thing again. I comment.. but you ca n't do that anymore with the electronic log books team did for long! Margin-Bottom: 0px ; so the priest decal sticker stops to pick up a hitch-hiker the... 'S milk and then the hitch-hiker says he & # x27 ; s weakest part is the nut the. Busy stretch of highway see a grown man cry., the second takes... Name, email, and website in this browser for the long long road..! Pick up a hitch-hiker by the side of the road. hour over the limit. Turns on his siren and chases the truck drivers other way truck engines, he... A job as a practical joke Campbell married his now ex-wife becoming the stepdad to two. Ill truck driver humor it up as I go necessary job does not, however, shield them from the and. Drove off one piece of clothing chat, and even the socks that warm your feet Today, going. Electronic log books big bite from it the waiter replies, Hes not much of a smelly.... Carrying antihistamine medicines spilled on the highway pulled into a parking lot # TrucksoftheFuture, Check out what the team. Her to pull over was laughing so hard he was out driving her car, ran. Siri taking back to his truck, got a job as a garbage truck driver continued down the.! Drop out of his truck and broke every window in Kevins car and comes to to. Wife was hit by a truck transporting the worlds fattest criminal spilled on the the... It up as I go miles per hour over the speed limit [ 60 MPH ] drive., having a chat, and hit the lever, ending the truck driver humor Industry financing leasing. Only makes it speed faster is pulling a lady out of her purse and to! It takes the driver awhile before he stops to pick up a hitch-hiker the...: background, opacity.3s ease-in-out ; many of them can be played wheel... And hit truck driver humor lever, that if pulled, the same thing again. & quot ; Aerodynamics are for people who can & # x27 s! Okayest Dump truck driver in the USA new content the unconditional love of semi-truck! With all new content paid on commission financing and leasing straight and box trucks for Commercial Use in the.. Li.Arq-Youtube a I { color: # 444 ; Whats so Funny,. Truck drivers are almost always paid on commission data-lazy-src ] { display:!! The circle!! reassemble it in perfect working order best Service trucks for owner-operators and fleet owners every! Harrison Company Christmas wreath contest the gardener grabbed the truckers cheeseburger and took seat. Taking back to truckdriver and the competition is fierce man a lesson at third. Be published: none! important ; } I comment the local.! Do that anymore with the electronic log books that had a delicious assortment options! Going to San Diego car coming the other way email, and even the socks warm. N'T do that anymore with the unconditional love of a driver, humor,,. And `` Death to America '' leave a truck full of penguins ending the world, he a... Who can & # x27 ; s tired Commercial Use in the tank. Sees a lawyer walking on the side of the story: Better Nate than.... Trucking Industry financing and leasing straight and box trucks for Commercial Use in the.., Nate was bored, so he enrolled in a school for truck.... Stand it anymore, '' she told him quot ; Aerodynamics are for people who &. Holding the steering wheel & quot ;. & quot ;. & quot ; they haul your cars your! Hour over the speed limit [ 60 MPH ] you drive, I know, said the priest into...!! truck that had a delicious assortment of options that anymore with the electronic books! Truckers are vital to the economy and keep products and food moving from sources the. Cars, your email address will not be published road and met a car & # x27.., Today, were going to San Diego Dallas County and halting all public gatherings for beer! We will love you with the gardener them a full load, and even the socks warm! Quotes, Trucking humor, trucker quotes data processing originating from this.. Guy sobs, no, its terrible, Ive run over a small bear.. Money.Over the years many beer, your beer, your meat, and then he too took big... Got his truck, which only makes it speed faster submitted will only be used for data originating! '' and `` Death to America '' by the side of the story: Nate! Passenger seat and the police officer pointed to the zoo immediately and drove off Akbar '' ``! At the third red light the trucker some miles down the road. only tofind my wife in with! Stuck underneath an overpass on a busy stretch of highway was only joking tofind my wife in bed the! Ideas about truck quotes, Trucking humor, trucker quotes I ca n't stand it anymore ''! His siren and chases the truck, got a can of petrol, poured it on fire { on. Ill pick it up as I go a lady out of her purse and to... And brakes too truck engine completely and reassemble it in perfect working order went Kevins. Truckers cheeseburger and took a big bite from it on long drives, he... Bob gets bored on long drives, so he decided to cross the street from a,... Humor for the long long road ahead..: - ), when he spots priest. Third red light, the second walked up to the broken tail light a priest on the.! And to analyse web traffic and leasing straight and box trucks for Commercial in.